MrsMommyCEO

Coincidence

"Coincidence is Gods way of remaining anonymous" ~Albert Einstein

I've looked at life much differently since I stopped believing in coincidences. I had an interesting experience with one this morning....

Last week I sat in church and I was somewhat captivated by a woman sitting in the front. I watched her as we sang songs of worship and praise, I saw her sing along and sway with the music, then I watched her raise her hands to the Lord. I told someone afterward how much I admired her, for the fact that she didn't seem the least bit worried about what anyone around her thought of her actions. I wondered what that would feel like, to not fear the judgement of others.

I said at the time that I didn't know if I had ever been struck by the desire to raise my hands in worship, however I wanted to know that if I ever felt compelled to do so, that I would DO IT without thought to those around me. And thinking about that now, I ask myself, what am I afraid of... that someone would say, "wow, she's really into this God stuff"... well actually, yes I am! So stepping out and acting on my faith in a very visible way is not a negative thing and I need to stop viewing it that way.

Fast forward to this morning... The same woman was sitting down in front and I was again struck by her actions. I had asked God in my prayers just this morning to give me a boldness in my faith, to live it in actions as well as thoughts and words.

And then the service closed with a song, one I'm sorry to say I do not know the name of, but it had a line that went something like "So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandonded, in awe, of the One who gave it all." And it hit me like a ton of bricks that God was giving me an opportunity and in a way, I think He was calling on me to be obedient. I stood there and I KNEW what I had to do and I just knew that there was no way I was going to walk out of church having passed up this chance.

I didn't gather up the courage until halfway through the song, when our worship leader gave encouragement to the entire congregation to raise our hands to the Lord... and I knew this was my shot and I had to take it. I knew that I had to face my fear of standing out, my fear of being judged, and praise the Lord in exactly the way He was asking me to....

And I did it... but actually that's wrong, because I can't take the credit, God did it. The Holy Spirit within me gave me the strength to face my fears. And even though to some it may seem so small or so silly, for me, it was a small step in the right direction, in God's direction. It was a step towards breaking through the fear that I carry around with me everyday, and choosing instead to walk in faith and obedience.

God's hears us, He sees us and He is working in our lives to give us the chance to know Him and to love Him. I am humbled and grateful that He gave me one such opportunity today.

Mellow...

Now there's a word you'll almost never hear in conjunction with me. I am NOT mellow by any stretch of the imagination, however I feel that in the passed few years, I have become more mellow than ever before.

Evidence:

I'm not a fan of dirt in general and sand is even worse... but I've learned as a parent that the absolute joy on my son's face as he showers himself in sand is worth the afternoon bath and extra run of the vacuum. 

And boy oh boy, does he love sand. I cannot wait to see him on the beach because I think he'll just love it. Logan can spend forever just digging, throwing, and dumping sand. I also love that he is so independent in that way, he's content to play on his own, a skill that I've realized it so important for children.

Over the passed 8 years of parenthood, my children have taught me that rigid and perfect just aren't very much fun! Letting go of some of me has opened me up to seeing the world through their eyes, to see the wonder and the joy in little things... even dirt!

Desperately seeking organization

Normally I count myself a pretty organized person, some might go so far as to say freakishly, annoyingly organized. I just like things in order, everything in it's place and all that jazz

However lately, I've lost my knack for organized and my mind and my space seem messy because of it. I'm on the hunt for a new routine that will work within the parameters of my busy and demanding life and it's just alluding me. Each day seems to follow the same general pattern, but within that framework, I don't have a lot of established "time" for certain things.

One of my biggest struggles right now is keeping track of the thousand different things that I have to do. Most things break into these categories... Work (Creative), Work (Paperwork/Accounting), House (cleaning/meal planning), Misc (School stuff, Appts, Church). The problem is I can't find a way to keep track of each of these different areas of my life with any workable solution. I recently thought I hit on a great idea, from SimpleMom, to create a Home Management Notebook. The theory being that you keep everything in one organized place and then refer there daily.

But have you seen my desk? Space is not something I have available for a huge open 3 ring binder... and yes, it would have to be open. If things aren't starring me in the face, they simply do not get used.

So now I have a new idea, shamelessly stolen from the fabulous Ali Edwards. In a recent tour of her office, she showed a clipboard system that she had for ongoing projects and the idea is one that I've been thinking about ever since. The beauty of this for me is that I can have things out in the open, where I'm less likely to ignore them, but that they are still neat and organized within their "categories" because it's hard for me to scan down one large to do list. I feel mentally schizophrenic when I have to balance my checkbook, then clean the bathroom, and then go defrost chicken for dinner! My mind works best when it can get in one mode, be it work, kids, cleaning and then stay there, getting more than one thing done. The more I jump around, the less I get done.

Here is a link to the post where you can see Ali's set-up, and if you are anything like me, you'll find a thousand other ideas to steal from her!

Now the only problem I have is a visual one... you see, my "desk" is actually located smack in the middle of my living room, right next to my kitchen. Don't believe me?

And yes, my desk is actually a kitchen table because my real desk was too big for the space... oh how I miss my desk... all that glorious space!

So now I just need to convince my husband that it's a good idea to hang clipboards in our living room. I'm sure he'll go for it, I mean if I can convince him that a desk in the living room is a good idea, then the sky is really the limit!

Back to Blogging

Yes, I know it's been months since I've blogged regularly. Trust me, I haven't forgotten my blog, I've actually been practicing a new form of blogging, where I compose full posts in my head and never get the time to actually write them out or where I forget what I wanted to say when I do have time.

I've actually had a lot to say lately too, so it's a shame that I haven't been able to get any of it out of my head and on to this blog. But lately I've felt a real pull to make the commitment to my blogging... for anyone who cares to read it and for myself. Putting my thoughts down in writing has been something that I've always loved and have something that I find incredibly therapeutic.

Sometimes what has kept my from blogging are the negative comparisons that I make between myself and other bloggers... especially those I admire. I tell myself that I'm not as funny as they are, I don't have the time to post the photos that they do, I'm not as good with words, and the worst one, that I have nothing to say that anyone wants to hear. I tear myself down with these negative thoughts and I keep myself from doing something that I really enjoy.

But I feel God pulling on different strings in my life, calling me to live my life OUT LOUD... to live a life that is a testimony to His love and His grace, both of which completely abound in my life. I am so inspired by the witness and testimony of others, by the effortlessness of their faith and the transparency with which they share it. I often think that I want to be more like that, less scared and more confident. And every journey starts with a single step...

So this blog is my first step, to sharing ME... who I am. I'm so excited!