"Coincidence is Gods way of remaining anonymous" ~Albert Einstein
I've looked at life much differently since I stopped believing in coincidences. I had an interesting experience with one this morning....
Last week I sat in church and I was somewhat captivated by a woman sitting in the front. I watched her as we sang songs of worship and praise, I saw her sing along and sway with the music, then I watched her raise her hands to the Lord. I told someone afterward how much I admired her, for the fact that she didn't seem the least bit worried about what anyone around her thought of her actions. I wondered what that would feel like, to not fear the judgement of others.
I said at the time that I didn't know if I had ever been struck by the desire to raise my hands in worship, however I wanted to know that if I ever felt compelled to do so, that I would DO IT without thought to those around me. And thinking about that now, I ask myself, what am I afraid of... that someone would say, "wow, she's really into this God stuff"... well actually, yes I am! So stepping out and acting on my faith in a very visible way is not a negative thing and I need to stop viewing it that way.
Fast forward to this morning... The same woman was sitting down in front and I was again struck by her actions. I had asked God in my prayers just this morning to give me a boldness in my faith, to live it in actions as well as thoughts and words.
And then the service closed with a song, one I'm sorry to say I do not know the name of, but it had a line that went something like "So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandonded, in awe, of the One who gave it all." And it hit me like a ton of bricks that God was giving me an opportunity and in a way, I think He was calling on me to be obedient. I stood there and I KNEW what I had to do and I just knew that there was no way I was going to walk out of church having passed up this chance.
I didn't gather up the courage until halfway through the song, when our worship leader gave encouragement to the entire congregation to raise our hands to the Lord... and I knew this was my shot and I had to take it. I knew that I had to face my fear of standing out, my fear of being judged, and praise the Lord in exactly the way He was asking me to....
And I did it... but actually that's wrong, because I can't take the credit, God did it. The Holy Spirit within me gave me the strength to face my fears. And even though to some it may seem so small or so silly, for me, it was a small step in the right direction, in God's direction. It was a step towards breaking through the fear that I carry around with me everyday, and choosing instead to walk in faith and obedience.
God's hears us, He sees us and He is working in our lives to give us the chance to know Him and to love Him. I am humbled and grateful that He gave me one such opportunity today.